Two Fights Tomorrow Night subject logo: CULTURE
2005-09-14
Posted by: badanov

The first in tomorrow night's fight card will be UK politician George 'Don't Hate Me Coz I'm a Communist' Galloway versus Christopher 'On the Right Until We Win the GWOT' Hitchens.

We like Hitchens, simply because Galloway is a rapid puncher, but he lands very few blows, and despite his appearances against a whole senate committee our press reported in fawning and endearing terms, we do not think Galloway will go the distance.

Hitchens is smart and tough with enough of a reach to punch Galloway time after time, without Galloway returning much more than air. Hitchens is careful and deliberate where he lands punches and he always goes for the big knockout punch first. Galloway could well take a KO in the early rounds, but considering the venue, Galloway could last; but he will not win..

The second fight is a total mismatch: conservative intellectual Victor Davis 'Watch this punch, Will Ya' Hansen versus leftist dilettante Ariana 'I Wanna Be Like Hanoi Jane' Huffington.

Huffington has been vying recently to take the crown “America's Favorite Fifth Columnist” from retired leftist Jane Fonda, except that Fonda is clinging desperately to the title herself. Maybe later we could see a match in mud, by much younger and easier on the eyes proxies of course, between Fonda and Huffington. It would be an improved environment for both sides.

While we are in the subject, we hear Fonda is riding a short bus powered by Sheer Hubris brand vegetable oil these days, riding with Galloway, and her tour is being organized by, if not funded by, the International Socialist Organization. Some things never change. We guess the good part is the ISO couldn't find a Soviet made S-60 anti aircraft gun to sit on for her “photo op.”

We like Hansen in the early rounds, but we suspect that Huffington could drag this thing out by dancing around facts, while Hansen tries to bore in on her many errors of fact. Hanson has a longer reach and a stronger punch, but he will likely try to pin Huffington down on her assertions by trying to wear Huffington down.

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